Jacks’s Dream; Making It Into The Guiness Book Of

Jack has made several attempts at getting his name in the Guinness Book of World Records but to no avail.  In 2007 He and Meg tried in Canada by performing the shortest concert ever played. They sold tickets and promoted the show when it was show time they took the stage where Meg hit her symbol one time, this is known as the White Stripes One Note Show. It seems though that even though this was acknowledged by Guinness as the shortest known concert ever played, and even though The White Stripes did make into the 2009 publication of the World Records Books it was a short-lived accomplishment. After the book was released several applications by other musicians who wanted to beat this record were sent to Guinness for consideration. Well for obvious reasons, at least they were obvious after this record was made and not before, Guinness had to remove this record from the list of breakable records and it wasn’t included in the book after that. These reasons were the inability to conclusively define ‘shortest’ concert. They struggled with what was actually considered to be a ‘concert’. Was it the defined by the selling of tickets, actual attendance at a venue, the appearance of a band on stage just playing a single note; what technically constituted a concert? Some argued that the production of a show leading up to and including the first note was a concert. Some argued that to be a concert they would have to at least play an entire song, some argued that would need to be a whole set. Others argued the number of people who would have had to actually see the band members on stage and see them play ‘the one note’, this point was raised because after playing the one note Jack and Meg immediately left the stage; their thinking being that entering the stage thus beginning the show, playing music; even just one note thus playing the show and then exiting the stage thus ending the  show constituted a concert. Needless to say the inability of those at Guinness to come to a conclusion on these points led to the elimination of that particular record, period.

Jack later attempted to not only get into the record books but stay in the record books; as a record holder past or present, by saying the most metaphors ever spoken in a single concert. These metaphors could be spoken or occurrences like lighting changes, the color of clothing or microphone stands. There was even a recorded metaphor for the calm weather which apparently ‘had the feel of Grandma’s house in winter’. At one point one of the three Guinness officials who were appointed the difficult task of counting these metaphors made the mistake of counting 312 smiles and 3 mere comparisons. I am not sure how a smile is a metaphor at all but then who am I to judge? There was a 3 minute period where close to 1200 were counted. Then about half way through the set it seems that Jack uttered a metaphor about the moon too fast to be counted and the Guinness guys had to forfeit the attempt.

Well April 19th 2014 Jack set a new record for the World’s Fastest Studio-to-Store Record at Third Man Records, his record studio in Nashville.  On the morning of the 19th Jack and his band took the stage in the Blue Room at Third Man Records he recorded a mono live version of the single “Lazaretto” from his yet to be released album of the same name and he covered Elvis Presley’s “Power of My Love” for the B side of this special 7″ vinyl record which was then pressed, assembled and personally escorted back to Third Man by Jack where he sold the first copy to a member of the band Whirlwind Heat, who was performing later that day at the studio. This was all done in 3 hours 55 minutes and 21 seconds.  The video recap of the event can be viewed here





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